Ben & Eric Have Lunch

et cetera et cetera update: We’ve finished the tweaks on “omnino” (disc 2), and Josh has done most of the sound editing that still needed to be done on “per se” (disc 1), so we’re getting closer. We finally figured out the track order for “omnino,” which was tricky, but I dig it. Mixing and mastering is next, as well as wrapping up the CD art.

Completely unrelated to anything, the following is a very short and ridiculous one-act that I wrote and posted on my old blog a while ago, but it might as well find its way into the arms of blogger at this point. I couldn’t resist:

Ben & Eric Have Lunch

SCENE: two guys, ERIC and BEN, are having lunch.

ERIC: So I finally washed my car today.
BEN: I don’t care.

[ERIC looks up from his burger, as if he didn’t hear him right]

ERIC: Huh?
BEN: I don’t care.
ERIC: What do you mean?
BEN: I mean I don’t care. I don’t care if you finally washed your balls today. It’s none of
my business.
ERIC: Well, that’s a weird thing to say.
BEN: No, “I finally washed my car today” is a weird thing to say.
ERIC: Why?
BEN: Because nobody cares. Certainly not me.
ERIC: Look. It’s not a big deal. I was just saying...
BEN [cutting him off]: You were just saying that you washed your car today, and I was
just saying that I don’t care.
ERIC: What’s wrong with you, man?
BEN: Shut up and eat your lunch.
ERIC: You shut up!
BEN: Now you’re just being childish.
ERIC: What’s that supposed to mean?
BEN: It means that you’re acting like a child.
ERIC: You’re a dick, man.
BEN: See?
ERIC. See what?
BEN: That’s something a child would say.
ERIC: You’re unbelievable.
BEN: How’s your burger?
ERIC: My burger?
BEN: Yeah. That piece of meat with bread on either side of it. You’re eating it right now.
How is it?
ERIC: Fine. It’s fine. What’s it to you?
BEN: Just trying to make conversation.
ERIC: Well, it’s a little undercooked, actually, and the fries are a little...
BEN [cutting him off]: I don’t care.
ERIC: What?!
BEN: I don’t care.
ERIC: But you just asked me...
BEN [cutting him off]: You should have left it at “fine.” That’s all I need to know.
ERIC: Whatever, man. Fine, then. It’s fine.
BEN: That’s good to hear.
ERIC: How’s yours?
BEN: Delicious.
ERIC: Yeah, they make a good burger, here.
BEN: Yeah. They make a lot of good burgers here. I guess we should get the check.
ERIC: Are you in a hurry?

[BEN gets the waitress’ attention. She comes to the table with the bill and BEN pays her without even looking at ERIC.]

ERIC: You didn’t have to pay for...
BEN [cutting him off]: Forget it. It’s on me.
ERIC: Well, thanks.
BEN: Not a problem.
ERIC: We should do this more often.
BEN: I don’t think so.
ERIC: What?
BEN: I really need to split. I’m finally going to wash my car this afternoon.
ERIC: Really?
BEN: Yeah. It’s been like two months. The thing is filthy.
ERIC: This morning I went to the car wash on 16th and...
BEN [cutting him off]: I don’t care.
ERIC: What?
BEN: I don’t care.
ERIC: You know, you really are a prick. I just wanted to catch up a little, have a nice
lunch, and...
BEN [cutting him off]: I didn’t know it was so important to you.
ERIC: It’s not that...It’s that I...
BEN [cutting him off]: I don’t care.
ERIC: Fuck you, man!
BEN: Now that’s really mature.
ERIC: Seriously, man. What’s your problem?
BEN: That car isn’t going to clean itself.
ERIC: You’re unbelievable.
BEN: That’s what the ladies say.

[BEN leaves the restaurant, gets in his car, and speeds away.

There are 619 days remaining in Bush’s presidency.